I call these women The Minivan Mafia. That isn’t very nice, I know. But I only call them that in my head. I see this at my gym, online, in stores, and in my kid’s elementary school. They are everywhere. It is always disheartening when I come into contact with one of these ladies.
Lately, the hot button issue with these moms is discipline. Its the spankers vs. non-spankers and the positive/non violent parents vs. the strict routine parents. I float somewhere between the two, although I rarely spank. But I get it. For some kids, it works. If I see you pop your child’s leg in public, I will most likely give you a little smile (because kids behaving badly in public is embarrassing) and I will hope to convey to you that I’ve been there, relax a little, that tantrum will be over soon. But then I will turn my head. Its quite frankly, none of my business. Now, obviously, if you are abusing your poor little one, that’s different. But that pop you give your child, isn’t going to traumatize him, and you are doing a fine job, mom!
I know some women that I come into contact on Facebook, school, gym, stores will crucify that poor woman for popping her child’s leg. And that’s sad. Instead of ripping her parenting skills apart, how about you smile at her? Maybe say something encouraging? She is probably having a really shitty day and that toddler just capped off her morning by being the biggest turd (all because she wouldn’t buy him a lollipop). Women in my little world are constantly trashing and picking apart other mothers. Mothering is some RealWomanShit (see what I did there?) and it is not for the weak. Men, fathering is hard too, but I am a woman and can’t speak on your challenges from your perspective, so don’t think I am leaving you cats out, ok?!?
I have a solution and its pretty simple.
Mind your own business. Unless you are offering genuine and friendly help to support other mothers. Let me say it again: mind your own f@#$%^&*g business. Simply minding your own damn business and going about your day is key. But there is a downside to that. You lose out on an opportunity to offer support to another human being who is having a difficult time.
Put yourself in that situation. You know you’ve been there. Mothers are this extensive community with thousands of members. We have the opportunity to be a huge support network, yet we don’t. And that is a travesty. We have the potential to be a village for our children, yet we are the worst group at polarizing ourselves.
I will do better. Will you do better? Let us be that amazing and supportive village that we have the potential to be.
Love to my moms (and dads),