A little bit of a back story….the hubs and I went to see The Book of Life with our five year old over the weekend. I loved that Ice Cube was the voice of The Candle Maker. I am a HUUUUUGE ass Ice Cube fan. Always have been. So when I was the ONLY one in the theatre that laughed when Ice Cube’s character quipped “today was a good day”, I was so surprised (and lets be honest, shocked and pissed and utterly stupefied that these idiots were in the presence of a hip hop and comedic genius and still didn’t get it). My hubs knows how up-to-date on pop culture I am (but this bit of pop-cult was circa 1994, folks) and still he tried to challenge me and say that no one laughed because it wasn’t Ice Cube. Say whaaaaaaaat? E’er body knows Ice Cube’s voice. Well….apparently not. He asked me to “Google it” and prove that I was right because he said he wouldn’t believe me any other way.” Wives, you know how I am feeling right about now, right???
I know my hubs is super conservative in some ways, so the fact that HE challenged ME on all things Ice Cube pissed me off. So guess what I did? I sat him down, showed him the imdb.com list of cast and crew, told him I didn’t appreciate his lack of confidence in my judgement and…………psych.
Hayull naw. I just responded to all of his questions for the next three days with Ice Cube song lyrics. Oh yes, I did, bitches. It went something like this:
HUBS: “How is your day going so far?”
ME: “I didn’t even have to use my AK. I gotta say it was a good day.”
HUBS: “Oh, you made eggs and bagels? Nice!”
ME: “Momma cooked the breakfast with no hog.”
HUBS: “Why did you do that????”
ME: “Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It.”
HUBS: “My hips hurt from raking those leaves all day.”
ME: “Smoke some weeeeeeeeeeed.”
HUBS: “I need a shot of rum.”
ME: “Who’s got a plan, who’s got a plot. who’s got got and who’s got shot?”
HUBS: Him bitching about something super lame…
ME: “Betta check yo self before you wreck yo self.”
HUBS: “Did you do this when you were little?”
ME: “Always been the same, aint a GD thang changed…”
HUBS: “I cant do this anymore.”
ME: “You can do it, put your back into it.”
HUBS: “Are you Whitmires really that crazy?”
ME: “You know how we do it.”
HUBS: “YOU ARE GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE WITH THIS SHIT!!!”
ME: “F You! I’m the *wifey* ya LOVE to HATE!”
That’s not verbatim. But you get the idea. And when I ended the Ice-Cube-A-Thon, I said “Bye Felicia”. He doesn’t even know who Felicia is…that makes me so sad!